Dutch can Be Nice, helpful, friendly, funny, but to become à 'close relation' or even a friend with a dutchy that seems to be quite difficult.
Getting into contact with the Dutch does not seem to be very easy. I learned that again last week in the workshop Dutch habits & traditions. The Dutch can be very open. But until a certain limit. Then you're getting to close. An example of one the participants who has his origin in Uganda - he had spend a long time with a Dutchy in London. They had very good contact and undertook quite some activities together on a regular basis. Then came the unexpected - the goodbye was a definit goodbye. Especially in comparison to an Indonesian contact, who invited my participant to come over to Indonesia and spend some time with his family.
Another example from a participant from South America - I called a Dutch guy who I regularly meet and know quite well right now 'friend' and it scared him off. But what for? In South America we call everybody ' friend', so what's the problem?
Weird weird dutchies, being friendly, but without coming to close. Dutch have open thoughts, but in fact, we are not open ourselves. We respect everybodies live and living area. We will help you wherever and however we can. But to get into our lives you have to be invited. To get over the threshold of our front porch is not that easy. Dutchies tend to stick to reality - only make promises if you can keep them.
The funny thing is, we don't do it on purpose. It's just not in our genes. We don't understand that others do feel the intention of saying 'I love you' if you only mean 'you are important and I appreciate you' instead of spending the rest of our lives together. We need some teaching in that and Dutch are eager to learn. Show us how and we will most likely step away of 'going dutch'.
Class June '11
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