Who runs the family?

The husband earns the money and the wife takes care of the family. Or not?

The relation between a man and a woman has in many countries more and more equalized over the past centuries. Sometimes it is even the opposite nowadays then what we were used to and it is the wife who is in charge. In NL we call it that 'the lady is wearing the pants'. I learned from a colleague of mine, who has been borne and raised in the Ukraine, what a marriage looks like over there. That's quite different than we are used to, as far as I can say. I learned just from one single point of view, but still, it amazed me that much that I'd like to share it with you.

In the old days it was quite common over here that husband and wife had their own tasks - the wife took care of the family: she cook, she raised the children, she cleaned the house, washed the clothes, etc. The husband was responsible for the income and that there was enough food for everybody. As mentioned before roles & responsibilities in a Dutch household (and ind different western countries as well) have become more similar. These days it's quite normal that both husband and wife earn money and share household activities. We even know 'daddy's day' which can be explained in a sense that fathers work 4 days in the week and the fifth day he takes care of the children. He may work from home a little bit, but in general he is looking after the kids.

In the Ukraine it's different. Women in over there are still responsible for the complete household. And I mean everything that needs to happen in and around the house to keep the family alive and to make sure that the house remains standing. Okay, perhaps the pregnant lady doesn't have to climb on a ladder, but that's just my western assumption. She is not only taking care of the household. It's very much likely that the same wife works for the family money as well! And not because of the fact that something happened to the husband or that it is a temporary situation. No, they are used to it. both men and women. Since their youth, men have been spoiled by their mother and their wives are continuing this. Men are lazy creatures, she called them (with the exception of her own husband of course)

Now I get why ladies over there are so interesting. And it is not only because they are beautiful...

Dutch spontaneity

Something that really makes me happy are spontaneous activities. Last weekend I had one again - I had a (not spontaneous) meetup with a friend and all of a sudden we were with the 5 of us. One after the other hooked up. The weather was beautiful and we were at a very cute food & wine festival here in Amsterdam. So the circumstances were with us!

I hear a couple of you think "Is that so hard, to be spontaneous?" It shouldn't be, your right. But for Dutchies it sometimes is - we live by our agenda. This makes unscheduled actions quite a rare phenomenon. Although you are being unprogrammed yourself (or at least trying te be) people around you stick to a rigorous program. Downside of the combination is that it is difficult to 'fit in' the other's program spontaneously - we should reserve some time in our agenda for spontaneous actions.

What I think is the fun side of this spontanity is that you end up in unexpected settings, meet new people and land at unexpected occasions. Like last weekend, where it all started at the food & wine festival, suddenly we were witnessing an open air concert on one of the canals after which we were participants in a karaoke show. Spontaneity it is!

Ally in expat world

Yesterday I met a really nice girl in order to discuss whether we can support each other in our expat  business. She works for SPOT Relocations. SPOT Relocations helps expats moving to Amsterdam. She explained to me what kind of things need to be arranged before you are settled over here. Not only here, but everywhere in the world you must think about your work permission, housing, insurances, school for children, transportation, etc. These things are fact based and – you would say- quite straight forward to arrange. Well, it’s not actually. Especially when you don’t speak the native language. Even here in this international country where we are dependant of worldwide business and are global oriented, the Amsterdam community still offers some services only in Dutch. Not quite convenient if you have your origin in India and this is the first time you are abroad. No worries, SPOT Relocations can help you and they have contacts with all kinds of organizations, authorities, real estate brokers, etc. She even mentioned helping a lady with her groceries in the supermarket. 

And in that part of the story where I come in - I am always in to meeting new people and to find new ways of improving my workshop Dutch habits & traditions. The most difficult part of the workshop is to find enough participants to go ahead with the workshop. SPOT Relocation has the same, they are also seeking for new clients to support. How can we help each other - a cultural workshop organizer and a relocator. How SPOT can help me is perhaps quite obvious: they can provide all their customers with a flyer of the workshop and my contact details. But how can the workshopper help the mover? Obviously, the participants of the workshop are already located in The Netherlands. Actually, to get the most from the workshop it is important that they have a few weeks/months experience with Dutchies. Perhaps the participants themselves are not the best target, but they might work for an interesting company. Besides that, quite some friends of mine work for an international organization. There is always a way to help each other, as long as you are being creative. And sometimes it is even easier than you think. 

Interested in more information about SPOT Relocations? Please go to their site  www.spot-relocations.com and contact Henriette or Cathinca.